Pizza Pilgrims - London

Here’s a short story that makes little sense – despite the pixelated mess at the top of the blog I don’t eat a huge amount of pizza. My problem is that the combination of bread with melted cheese is my kryptonite. I'm confident that if someone were to sit me down and keep sliding pizzas in front of me I would end up as the pizza filled human equivalent of a foie gras duck. Enjoy that mental image.

I felt it was pretty unacceptable to have only reviewed two pizzas in my time on here so I decided to set things right by paying a visit to Pizza Pilgrims in London to what is fondly regarded as one of the best pizzerias in the UK. Sure, everyone has a favourite local or backstreet place tucked away but the consensus about the Pilgrims seems to be overwhelmingly positive. I thoroughly enjoyed a slice of one of their pizzas many moons ago at a Street Feast down south, and despite some vague whispers on the internet that the quality had dropped over time; I'm pleased to report this is absolutely not the case.

I took a seat in the window at street level (they also have a fantastic downstairs which is laid out like an Italian cafe with a table football taking pride of place) to bask in the almost overwhelming heat from the wonderful oven, providing a great view of a Pizza Express positioned directly across the street. Watching people walk down the street to try to decide between the two was pretty comical at times, with the heaving Pizza Pilgrims on one side and the half empty alternative clearly causing a couple of dates some serious issues.

I ordered the aubergine pizza (toppings were aubergine, mozzarella, parmesan, cherry tomatoes and basil) and it arrived in front of me piping hot straight from the oven less than a couple of minutes later, exactly as you’d expect. I have no complaints – the aubergine was spongy and mixed well with the melted cheeses and there was enough basil hidden away to give it the flavour but not overpower things. The blistered sourdough bread made for an ideal base and honestly, the pizza was up there with the best I've enjoyed in various trips to Italy. A bottle of punchy ReAle IPA was an ideal partner for lunch.

Dessert was one of the most simple yet excellent desserts i've had in some time, a couple of scoops of vanilla ice cream drizzled with extra virgin olive oil and a sprinkling of sea salt. The bitterness in the oil was 90% offset by the sweetness of the ice cream, giving it just that little extra something flavour wise to keep it totally interesting. This is definitely a dessert i'll surely be stealing wholesale to eat if the sun ever comes out up North.

Bill came to £18.50, with no service charge - the £6 beer was a ‘premium’ imported one which I suppose did bump things up considerably and honestly the quality and freshness of the pizza alone was more than worth it. I came so close to immediately ordering another but did the right thing for my waist line and wobbled off into the London sun (not just to the pub…..honest guv).

Le Gavroche - London

Le Gavroche is an institution, originally opening back in 1967 (hope they've got something special planned for the big 50!) and currently holding 2 Michelin Stars. Despite his TV commitments, Michael Roux Jr currently oversees the kitchen and is often seen roaming the dining room greeting his customers, I'm devastated to say that unfortunately I didn't get to shake his hand or get a snap with him on this occasion but despite that minor blow I am pleased to confirm the entire dining experience was one of the finest I've enjoyed in this country. 

The restaurant itself is hidden away on a backstreet in Mayfair, surrounded by residents' parking spaces filled with sports cars that i'm sure would have car nerds drooling into their pre-dinner glass of wine. The doorway to Le Gavroche is framed by a miniature hedgerow packed with flowers and it appears like an oasis to welcome you in and save you hustle and bustle tourist mayhem taking place around Hyde Park and general stench of money on the streets.

After a pleasant greeting at the door, I was lead into the waiting room which had the lights turned down and immediately felt very reassuringly classy and traditional with lots of beautiful old furniture and paintings around the room. It was like  enough for 20 people or so, not a traditional bar by any means. Entertainment was provided by a table complete with pompous arseholes spouting off at the top of their voices about how their partner should've had a boob job, numerous lap dancing clubs they'd visited recently and how much money their children had made that year, not a group of men but several couples. All very tasteless and not exactly the sort of entertainment and human beings i'd hoped to be surrounded by to be honest. 

We moved into a quiet corner and a couple of quick canapés appeared alongside drinks at the bar area and which appeared appealingly retro. I enjoyed a bottle of Roux Brew, the beer that Michael Roux Jr had recently commissioned for the restaurant. After a series of tastings from various breweries, he settled on this light grapefruit ale from FourPure which was light, citrusy and perfectly complemented the food to come so I stayed with it throughout the rest of the meal.

We were lead downstairs by one of the infamous maître d twins (I can back the blurb on the website now which states you can only tell them apart from the lapel pin), only for one of them to switch places half way and be lead off by the other. I'm not sure if this happens for everyone but it was a lovely slightly baffling piece of showmanship all the same. 

The dining room itself is very extravagant – much larger than I imagined and utterly old school. Lots of gaudily framed paintings of the Roux family and with metal animal sculptures on each table (we had a frog and a giant cock on the shelf behind us). The cutlery had miniature chubby chefs as the handles and Michael Roux was painted onto the plates - utterly mental. The dining room is underneath the building and was very dark and cool (as in temperature) as a result which enhanced the atmosphere, wandering downstairs on a lovely bright summers day and the contrast of entering an entirely darkened dining room added a lot mood-wise to the whole feel of the occasion. The severe lack of light wasn't the best environment for photos and there was no way I was letting loose with the flash i'm afraid (that's my attempt at an apology for the darkened shots to follow). 

It was an easy choice to order "The 'Menu Exceptionnel'" their grandly titled taster menu at £124 per person (inc cheese course and coffee), but I did notice that some of the a la carte prices were pretty intense. Think £50 plus per course in some instances, which could easily lead to a bill getting out of hand pretty quickly - I suppose if you're eating at Le Gavroche in the first place you're pretty prepared for that eventuality.

The bread selection was made up of a rye loaf, a crisp white mini-baguette and a country roll. None of this new-fangled modern sourdough nonsense. The bread was offered often, usually with a careful line along the theme of "more bread to dip in your sauce sir?" and always accompanied with brand new butter to keep it fresh and at optimum temperature. They must get through so much butter, we had at least 5 partially eaten portions of the stuff.

"Souffle Suissesse" 

The opening course set the scene pretty perfectly for the indulgence to follow. In fact, i'm pushed to remember ever eating a richer first course than this on a taster menu - a giant cheese souffle that was perfectly risen, ready for the air to be released like from a balloon (but without the farty noise). Digging in was similar to pulling melted cheese from the top of a perfectly cooked pizza - strands of it going everywhere. Complete and utter luxurious comfort food - the double cream sauce was perfect for mopping up with fresh bread. 

"Terrine Marbree de Foie Gras aux Epices Gelee au Madere et Croque aux Champignons" 

Easily the most generous single portion of foie gras I've been served in one go, just look at the size of it! The richness was slightly broken up by the spiced crust but as you'd expect, this absolutely continued the luxuriousness that started with the souffle. The portion of crispy mushroom toast, which was served as a mini sandwich on the side added some great crunch to the whole dish. 

"Langoustines Poelees, Petits Pois, Cebette et Jambon de Bayonne" 

I breathed a sigh of relief at the first delicate course to be served. This dish was made up of two fat juicy and langoustines presented on a bed of chopped air dried bayonne ham and fresh peas. The preparation of the sauce had eeked every last drop of pea flavour out of the vegetables and was combined with a dash of spring onion for a tiny hint of tartness.

"Filet de Maigre Parfume as Ras-el-Hanout Fenouil et Riz Rouge de Camargue" 

The pastilla was stuffed with red rice and flavoured with 'Arabian spices' accompanied by the stone bass fish served within a thin, crispy pasty roll. The meat jus and denseness of the pastilla made for quite a dense and unusally meaty fish course. 

"Joue de Porc Braisee et Fumee, Cromesquis de Couennes" 

The crispy belly ravioli was for me one of the highlights of the entire meal - think a deep fried wonton from the Chinese turned up to 11. The portion of braised and smoked pork cheek was succulent and delicious. The course came topped with the thinnest and crispiest sliver of pigs ear , which was accompanied with a thick red cabbage sauce - tangy and great with the deep fried elements.

"Supreme de Pigeon, Gaufres au Mais et Sauce aux Cassis" 

By this stage I was starting to feeling uncomfortably full and the generous portion of squab pigeon here wasn't helping at all. The soft juice soaked corn waffle with sweet blackcurrant sauce was not a combination that I particularly enjoyed but made perfect sense with the rich meat.

"Le Plateau de Fraomages Affines" - Selection of French and British Farmhouse Cheese

The cheese trolley had to be seen to be believed, I could smell it coming from around the corner before I could hear it and was drooling with excitement. I was like a kid in a sweetshop presented with a choice of upwards of 50 cheeses with crisp bread thins and a selection of chutneys. The choice was overwhelming with no apparent end to how many we could order -  a hugely memorable showpiece and it was excellent to have it included and not be 'upsold' to midway through dinner. 

"Truffle Chocolat et Sorbet, Cerises Pochees et a l'Eau de Vie" 

It came as no surprise given the luxury of the food that had preceeded but this was one of the most extraordinary chocolate desserts i've ever tasted. A scoop of rich dark chocolate ice cream served on alcohol soaked cherries and then a piece of fine rolled chocolate stuffed with mousse and a harder truffle within mixing the flavours and consistencies of the chocolate with every spoonful. It was glorious.

"Cafe et Petit Fours"

A double espresso (which was taking no prisoners strength wise) came accompanied by a tray of petit fours, then followed by chocolates and nougat but honestly by this stage I was genuinely worried about needing to be carried out of the restaurant so only really picked at them. There was a mini chocolate mousse tart, berry with icing sugar, biscuit at the front and a variation on a brandy snap. 

There were certainly some fantastic individual courses here - the pigeon, foie gras, cheese souffle, pig cheek, in fact as an a la carte menu I'd happily choose anything I ate again. My only possible complaint was that as someone with what i'd consider a pretty unstoppable appetite at the best of times, i'm still surprised that a taster menu so utterly overwhelmed me like this and honestly leads me to wonder whether many people could overcome this mountain of richness. I was in at The Ledbury the next evening and had to tone down plans for their taster menu as I was still utterly stuffed almost 24 hours later, I've never known anything like it.

I will say that eating at Le Gavroche was definitely an experience I'm glad to have enjoyed, the service was out of this world with no end to the attention to detail, the surroundings, the welcome and the overall atmosphere were truly memorable. The authenticity of the old-school feel I've already referred to just isn't something that could be duplicated without this depth of history and can only be created by year after year of outstanding food. The full taster menu was £124 per person and whilst I completely appreciate this is a huge amount of money for a meal, as a special occasion only (my waistline breathes a sigh of relief) I do believe it to represent genuine value, especially with the cheese course, coffee and petit fours included. A very special meal indeed.

Modern Pantry - London

I've admired the Modern Pantry from afar a few times whilst wandering around Clerkenwell, which is becoming an increasingly hip part of London for food and drink types to head for. Just off the top of my head you have Workshop Coffee, Foxlow, Giant Robot, St John, Polpo, Prufrock, Craft Beer Co and Hix amongst I’m sure others that I’ve not discovered yet. All of these establishments are within an easy 5-10 minute walk of each other meaning you could easily start at Farringdon and head in a circle spending a pretty fantastic afternoon stuffing your face. 

The building itself is stunning; it’s only three floors but takes an imposing position at the top of St John’s Square and immediately draws your eye from Clerkenwell Road. The lower floors and seating space outside at the front make up the main eating area and the top floor was being used as meeting room on this visit. This was much to my surprise as the toilets are also on the top and as I made my usual nose around (I can never help myself) I almost blundered into in a pretty serious looking business meeting – closing the door would've helped avoid me making a fool of myself immensely. From what little I saw before I scuttled off, this looked like it would also have made a pretty swish private dining area for small groups.

Whilst I was blundering around upstairs, our coffees, orange and grapefruit juices arrived offering a vibrant multi-coloured start to proceedings. My Americano was fantastic, rich, strong and a real mid-morning head clearer. The grapefruit juice was just as I like only a tiny touch of sweetness mixed in with the tart citrus but it was too smooth to not be from a carton. The glass of orange juice was stuffed with fresh juicy bits and that all so reassuring sugary hit. 

"Modern Pantry Muesli"

A large bowlful of intensely creamy soaked Bircher muesli which came sprinkled with fresh ripe pineapple, a dollop of raspberry compote and crispy toasted seeds. This alone would’ve been more than enough to set me up for the day, for me it was exactly what I want from a breakfast – carby, not too sweet and with the muesli, which can often be very bland in the wrong hands, more than bought to life by the sugary fruit and seeds. Lovely stuff. 

"Raspberry and Ricotta Pancakes"

I’m hard pushed to remember pancakes better than this I’ve had elsewhere in the UK (or further afield in fact). It did mention on the menu that there's a 20 minute wait which almost put me off, especially at breakfast time, but honestly i'd have waited all morning if i'd known they'd be this good. They came served as a stack of 5 thick pancakes, which were almost verging on the consistency of soufflé. They were cooked well – retaining their form as individual pancakes and so as not to just collapse into a giant pile of mushy pancake dough. The portion was so generous that it was a battle getting through (especially given the muesli I’d already tucked away) but they were so more-ish they were just impossible to leave. The extravagant amount of fruit compote and raspberries throughout meant this must've been at least one of my five a day, right? The crème fraiche finish was an ideal partner to the dish, breaking up the intense sweetness of the compote. 

The final course we shared (well my partner in crime started and I finished) was one of the impressively large selection of vegetarian cooked breakfasts which in this case consisted of two poached eggs and toast with pan fried haloumi, spinach and slow-roast vine ripened tomatoes. Initial impressions weren't great as the dish looked so bland compared to the muesli and pancakes but flavour wise it was very well considered. The spinach and slow-roasted tomatoes were juicy and well flavoured, the eggs were poached perfectly - primed with the yolk and ready to explode with the merest exertion of pressure. The bread was lathered in butter and the halloumi had been really well cooked, with only had a hint of that usual rubber-like consistency, which absolutely goes through me like nails down a blackboard. Here it was thick, buttery and actually had genuine flavour to add to the dish rather than just be there as a pointless addition. 

The coffee was strong, the service was fast, food was all very good and we both left absolutely stuffed for just under £40. The addition of fruit or vegetables to each course at least made these feel healthy and as a very late slightly hungover breakfast this absolutely kept me going until dinner time which is all I could ask. If I worked locally it’d be my spot of choice for meetings and breakfast which can often be a meal that’s difficult to inject life into – they really cracked it with the menu seeming both reassuringly familiar but with an injection of their own personality.

The Lockhart - London

Fine-dining is all well and good but sometimes you want to go for a meal that you really know about afterwards, where you're so tempted by everything that's on the menu and you're struggling for choice. Well, for once I let the pressure gets to me, gave in and ended up over-ordering and had to be almost rolled away from the restaurant afterwards regretting nothing because i'd eaten such glorious food. After eating at the Lockhart I came away feeling like Henry the Eighth, albeit it having gorged on their take on southern US cuisine rather than just eating giant legs of ham straight from an open fire.

I digress and to be honest that's because I've been struggling writing this for some time now. I certainly have plenty to say about the food and how fantastic it was but trying to get over just how enthusiastic I am about this place without just hammering down a stream of adjectives has proved more difficult than I ever imagined.

The Lockhart is on a quiet street behind Marble Arch (in the opposite direction to Le Gavroche so completely away from tourist hell) and from the outside looks like 500 other restaurants in London, a discrete logo emblazoned on awnings, a couple of token tables sat out front and a plain printed A4 menu hidden away in a holder by the door.

In the end we did take one of the tables out the front as it was a baking hot day but the inside was absolutely gorgeous, it reminded me of a more authentic version of Barnyard (that i'd been to 24 hours earlier) with stunning wood floors and farm house style tables but nothing here felt forced or gimmicky. You could close your eyes and day dream that the bundling through one of the fire exits in the back of the restaurant could open up onto a huge field of corn (rather than the dingy little office that was actually out the back).

I started with a Margarita which was reassuringly proper, with the glass salted on one side and served in a substantial heavy glass tumbler which added a nice classy touch. The booze was generous and the tang perfect.

The food that followed was just fantastic from start to finish.

"Pickled quail eggs"

I've eaten pickled eggs more in the past 6 months than in my entire life previously (it's the effect of the move to the North). These were delightful, tasty little snacks to whet my appetite – rich vinegary white and moist yolk. Could easily have sat and picked at a jar of these throughout dinner.

"Chicken Oysters"

These are a delight hidden away on the back of a chicken near the thigh, they're darker than a lot of the typical meat you'd be recovering from the carcass and supposedly slightly oyster shaped (hence the name). It was a great experience to have a small bowl of them dished up and not have to be fishing about after roasting a chicken in the oven to find them only to be immediately craving more. The meat is slightly firm to the touch but oh so tender and juicy to the bite and they made an absolutely perfect dish for a starter to share. The meat itself was almost overshadowed by the sauce, a delicious rich mustard with a hint of lemony citrus.

"Mufuletta"

Not ashamed to admit this was a totally new one on me, I had done a little research ahead of the visit when I saw it on a menu on the website and had wrongly assumed from photos that it would be similar to a shooters sandwich (essentially a squashed cold sandwich stuffed with meat). It actually consisted of quarter of a giant sandwich which was served warm and deep filled with a variety of cured meats and cheese as well as chopped olive salad. The bun looked like a McDonalds sesame bun but the bread was lovely and dense and had some real weight to it. This was verging on life-changing - it was so to my tastes I feel I've been wasting my valuable eating hours without knowing this existed until now. It came with a side of home made salt and vinegar crisps which were the crispiest crisps you could ever imagine - they looked almost overdone colour wise but were incredibly flavoured with salt and vinegar but without creating a hint of soggy texture. The sort of course where you really know you've been eating and immediately start loosening the top button of your trousers as soon as it arrives in preparation. Fantastic stuff.

"Shrimp and Grits"

Rich cheddar, creamy grits, prominent spring onion, tender mushrooms, little bit of heat, topped off with fat juicy prawns. Just perfect homely comfort food, filling but without even a hint of grease or blandness throughout. A really special bowl of food. 

Sides - "Collard Greens" and "Tomato and Cucumber" salad. Both were solid renditions of what I expected when ordered, not a lot to add.

"Corn bread with honey butter"
This was served up still sizzling in the red hot metal tray it had been cooked in, soaked in a mini oil slick of honey butter. The corn bread was cooked perfectly throughout with no hint of a soggy dough centre and the hint of sweetness in the corn was emphasised by the honey butter but still stayed on the right side of savoury to work perfectly as a side for the mains. This accompanied with the Mufuletta was seriously no joke, bordering on an insurmountable mountain of carbs (yes, I finished everything)

"Lemon ice box"

I was utterly stuffed by this phase due to my over-indulgence so far and was determined not to have a dessert but this was one of those meals where everything that had preceded had been so good I was forced to change my mind when I saw the options and went for the lemon ice box. The burnt crust on the outside of the meringue came away like the outer of a marshmallow roasted on a bonfire as a kid. All served on a base of Graham cracker, lemon curd and with lemon ice cream hidden away inside. This was on a par with the tobacco banana chocolate dish that i'd enjoyed at A Wong for the best dessert i've eaten all year thus far. Coming from a non-dessert person this is very high praise indeed.

From the snippets of conversation I couldn't help but overhear, lots of people in there were clearly regulars, a few even mentioning "see you again tomorrow for lunch" which was exceptionally positive to hear but having enjoyed the food on offer I can completely understand why. This is up there with the best places for comfort food i've eaten at in the UK, in fact I almost feel guilty using that description given the level of cooking on display and such great quality - especially for the reasonable prices. I can't even name a highlight here and find myself day-dreaming about being sat out front in the sun tucking into all this again constantly, it's absolutely at the very top of the list to return to next time I'm in London and I could easily see myself joining their list of regulars if I didn't live at the other end of the country.

  

Barnyard - London

Barnyard is the latest venture from Ollie Dabbous, the head chef at his eponymously named restaurant which I am yet to visit but have heard nothing but praise for. When wandering the back streets looking for Barnyard it was quite refreshing that in a row of darkened doorways it was fairly easy to spot as the entire place has been decorated as a (you'll never guess) farmhouse. A white picket fence surrounds the front of the restaurant containing within tables fashioned out of planks of wood, aged metal tiles, corrugated metal walls and suitably industrial looking lighting.

At 2.15pm on a Monday we had the entire restaurant to ourselves which was a fairly odd experience in itself, I'd hope for the restaurants sake that we'd just missed the lunch rush and at least we had very attentive service on the bright side. To be fair to Barnyard, quite a few people seemed attracted by the decor outside and wandered up to take a look at the menu only to quickly walk away.

The menu is split by food type, on this occasion the headers were Pig, Cow, Lamb, Chicken, Egg, Vegetables and Puddings with 3-4 options under each section to choose from.

We started with drinks - I had a banana and rum milkshake which came served in a slim line milk bottle with a straw and was spot on, creamy but not too thick and with a clear note of rum which was extremely pleasant.

The Barnyard Iced tea was the second drinks choice and a bit of an odd one initially, the component parts of English tea, pink grapefruit, lemon, agave, Scotch whiskey and Mica beer combined resulted in an a light hint of weird scum floating on the top, almost as if the mix had gone off in some way. The flavour was similar to a good sour beer, bitter but the coldness with the hint of lemon made it refreshing at the same time. An unusual experience that got better the more I drank and I would need to try again to be clear whether it was actually enjoyable or just the uniqueness that got to me.

First starter was lard on toast, which I immediately regretted it as as clump of semi-melted lard dripped on to my trousers, presumably never to be removed. The snack itself was great, I'd pictured a thick slice of sourdough appearing but it was more of a Swedish crisp bread, lathered in the lard and with a hint of pepper which made for a fun fatty trousers destroying opener.

The asparagus dish was served cold and featured a slow cooked duck egg with lemon vinegarette and torn sourdough bread, decorated with yellow flower leaves and sunflower seeds. The vinegeratte was very tart and clumped up under the veg, it wasn't clear whether this was deliberate or had been applied too liberally but there was certainly sufficiently on the dish to make sure the flavour was transferred to all the separate parts.

Short rib - two bite sized chunks of grain-fed short rib in black treacle outer, with a slice of pickle and mustard sauce. The beef was spot on but it was a pretty miserly dish for £14 - definitely not the main-sized portion I was expecting for that price.

Chicken wings - a dish of extremely crispy chicken wings, I saw extremely and I mean as in tap the coating with with a knife and it'd crack never quite seen wings coated like these. They were generously sized wings, juicy and tender and not the soft flabby meat you often see - everything flavoured with smoked paprika, garlic and lemon that packed a punch.

Corn on Cob - another slight miss, the corn was cooked just as I like so it retains plenty of crunch and it was plenty buttery but there was just no real flavour until I took a bite of the charred section. It also came served with a dirty great bolt screwed into one end to use to hold it with. It never felt entirely hygienic if I'm perfectly honest.

Finally, a special shout out to the toilets which were up there with the most terrifying I've ever been in, I felt like I was in a scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre as I wandered down a corridor lined with wood, doors with no markings and the toilet hidden away at the end of a long creepy corridor with banging in the kitchens at the side. I'll definitely be going back one day to hide away in one of the nooks playing chainsaw sound effects to make people lose their minds (not really).

I'm still a bit confused as to whether the decor is meant to be taken seriously or is just a bit of dumb fun trying to stand out from the crowd. The total bill came to £55 inc tip and drinks and whilst we had a good time and enjoyed the majority of the food, there was nothing mind-blowing that would have me rushing back, an enjoyable if a little forgettable lunch.

A Wong - London

I heard a really interesting interview with Marcus Wareing on the radio recently that really struck a chord with me, I can't remember the exact words so I'll have to paraphrase here but the gist was that he was asked whether it bothers him people taking photos of his food and posting them via social media. His measured response was that in his opinion whether you were a regular at the restaurant or you'd saved all year to eat there the food, service and the entire experience should be of an identical standard.

Honestly, my expectations of service are pretty low - as long as I'm met with a smile, the food arrives promptly and clutter is cleared away I'm happy, I appreciate it must be a mind-numbing job at times so deserves some leniency. Having said that I've seen some diabolical service over the years including a fully comped apology meal at a Michelin star restaurant to apologise for an absolute clusterfuck of a night (highlights include a course being served on fire instead of smoked and the door staff losing my brand new jacket) or the time that a maitre'd almost had a heart attack in front of my very eyes as I drew his attention to the LIVE ANTS that were crawling out of sugar bowl that had just been delivered.

I recently bought a cheapish camera to try and improve the photos on this blog, I'm enjoying writing so thought why not try and present the food in a better light. The experience at A Wong and the change in service as SOON as the camera appeared on the table made me once again question the service bloggers receive compared to being completely anonymous and snapping an occasional camera phone photo versus placing a camera out on the table.

Food-wise A Wong was certainly impressive but this was a meal that will remain memorable for all of the wrong reasons - entirely down to the poor service and attitude of the staff rather than the food itself. 

So where to begin, A Wong is a modern Chinese restaurant near Victoria station (which is a bit of a black hole for things to do) so I arrived a bit early for the 6pm booking (they open at 6 for their evening session) and there was only one other table occupied yet I was lead right to the back of the entire restaurant and sat at an extremely dark cave like table like a school child hidden away in the naughty corner.

I originally asked if I could have the taster menu but was advised it'd take over 3 hours which would've meant more of a rush for a train than was ideal, this was despite the menu itself stating you need to allow 2 and a half hours. The table next to us later tried to order, explained they were pushed for time and were told this could be accommodated with no problem by a different waitress. Great double standards.

The most basic errors then became more prevalent - no question about whether I'd like a drink before ordering food or offer of water for the table. As the taster menu wasn't going to be possible I got stuck into the al a carte and planned to order a range of snacks as a 'starter' and then several courses to make up a large selection of mains to try several dishes. The waiter started to take the order, as soon as I mentioned ribs he asked to be excused and disappeared into the kitchen then was next seen a few minutes later ushering the next lot of customers in through the main door. A waitress then came over and asked to take the order, I told her we'd already started with the waiter so she apologised, tracked him down and sent him back over showing utter disinterest throughout. 

As i'd moved to the a la carte menu I assumed the food would arrive fairly quickly and asked to move tables to somewhere with a bit more daylight as there were still very few tables occupied (it was around 6.30 by this point yet and there was still plenty of natural light outside), We were told the table needed to be returned by 7.30, which was no problem whatsoever (assuming food wouldn't be hugely delayed).

So for a selection of mixed starters I ordered the following:

Pickled cucumber, which wasn't really 'pickled' at all per se, it was just thin slices of cucumber sat in sesame oil and chilli flakes.

Sweet and sour rib with toasted sesame - these were a real treat, loaded with meat and juicy fat and the sweet and sour glaze was really subtle and didn't take away from the flavour of the meat. I could've sat and eaten a huge portion of these.

Smoked duck, jellyfish and pork crackling salad - this was a really weird combination, the jellyfish was extremely crispy almost like a similar consistency to fennel or a root vegetable but was quite flavourless. The smoked duck and pieces of crackling added a much needed hit of flavour but the meat was few and far between.

100 year old egg in sweet, chilli soya and marinated tofu - Century egg is something that i'd somehow never got round to tasting and it was exactly as I'd expect it to be. The grey yolk pieces were incredibly creamy and soft and just so unbelievably eggy, I'd love to try it smeared on a thick chunk of toast for breakfast. The egg white (red in the picture) pieces had very little flavour and when mixed with the flavourless white tofu it was all in all a pretty odd combination - the chilli in the oil gave it all a slight flavour but not enough for me.

‘A.WONG’ Dim sum basket was the final starter and was accompanied with a side of more shambolic service. The dim sum came served in two baskets, the first containing a pork and prawn dumpling with crackling sat on top, the second was a shrimp dumpling with citrus foam. I completely missed the description of the third in the delivery of all the starters and just as I was about to tuck in another waitress rushed over to tell me that it needed to be eaten with a spoon as it was filled with liquid. Brilliant, so why was it delivered with chopsticks? "Oh I better fetch you a spoon". Turned out to be a steamed dumpling with ginger infused vinegar.

Between starters and mains I saw one of the chefs pop across to the Sainsbury's opposite and sheepishly rush into the kitchen with an orange carrier bag with vegetables tucked under his arm. I appreciate that kitchens run out of essentials from time to time but at least try and disguise what you're up to if you're popping to the local supermarket.

For the mains I went for the following items:

Crab and seafood in braised leaves - the leaf was wrapped into a ring and then heavily loaded with the crab meat and with some tiny cockles hidden away. Great delicate sea food flavours. 

Glazed Brixham monk fish cheeks - the monk fish cheeks were tender and chewy as you'd expect but the dish was quite wet resulting in soggy batter. The pomegranate added it's dry sweetness to the dish. 

Dong Po slow braised Blythburgh pork belly - Star anise was an unexpected sweet addition but that worked really well with the fatty pork. The onion, diced veg and crisps on top all added much needed crunch to add to the pork.

Scotch beef rump with salsify, preserved plum powder and oyster sauce - like a refined and much lighter version of the oyster sauce you'd have from your local takeaway. The shredded beef with the sauce was very rich and warming. 

Braised abalone with shitake mushroom and abalone butter - I can't recall ever seeing abalone on a menu over here, I'd only previously enjoyed it in Hong Kong. Here it came served with a rich foam, the finely sliced seafood came served in one of the beautiful shells. 

Razor clam with braised sea cucumber, pickled cucumber and wind dried sausage - Just a fantastic mix of textures, the pieces of sausage dotted across the top were so chewy and satisfying. 

At this stage time we were passed 7pm so our waitress asked if we'd let her pour the rest of our wine. She also steamed in with the classic "let me suggest a dessert for you" which Google translation reveals actually means "hurry up and get the hell out of my restaurant"

In the end I chose the tobacco smoked banana, nut crumble, chocolate and soy caramel as it sounded like the type of over the top sugary treat that I hoped would help end the meal on a high. It came served as a large round chocolate ball that the waitress poured hot caramel sauce over, melting the chocolate sphere and revealing the tobacco banana ice cream hidden inside. The melted chocolate ball mixed in with the the soy caramel started to partially solidify which combined with the crunchy nut crumble was just fantastic. As someone who definitely prefers savoury to sweets it says a lot that this almost saved the entire experience it was that good. 

The other dessert was a coconut ice cream glutinous dumpling. Another show-piece, it came hidden under a covering of candy floss which as it was eaten revealed the chewy dumpling which had the coconut ice cream hidden away inside. All sat on a base of crumbled biscuit. Another stunning dessert.

At this point I moved to the counter to settle the bill, this in turn resulted in rapidly served chocolates and the the maitre'd heading over to apologise and insisting that I didn't leave a tip as "we'd prefer if you came back and gave it another try". Unbelievable scenes.

Overall, yes the majority of the food was of a very high standard (especially the desserts) but for the experience alone personally I'd never head back. If you're feeling brave and fancy trying some of this wonderful food I wish you luck.